Home at Last and time for bed

So it's hard to describe how nice it is to be out of hospital today and back home with Angie and Scarlett.

Now before we go any further please understand the scale of my misdemeanours, after putting Angie through a week of stress and worry, yesterday was her birthday and I failed to get even a card! Maybe I will be in the dog house for a little longer than originally expected.

So a big thank you to all my friends and family who have called and sent messages, I feel really guilty because other than a couple of dodgy days the whole adventure had been super brilliant and I in no way deserve any sympathy from anyone. Currently I am just a bit weary, but overall I expect to be back to 100% in a week or so.

Lets really hear it for Pembury and Maidstone Hospitals, fantastic teams, beautiful people who have given me a complete overhaul, flushed out the dodgy plumbing and set me up for a super quick recovery, with luck a small adjustment to my hand and I will be back to full function - if anyone wants to rush me to a pub I have been told to flush the kidneys copiously - so all clear there.

In some respects I am a little sad over having dropped out before Mongolia, I was looking forward to seeing that amazing country and hopefully making more friends, but it is what it is and it was fantastic as far as I got. Would I do it again? yes in an instant, even to the same outcome. The people I met and the friends I made were more than worth the difficulties and I think that I have learned a lot about myself and other cultures from the whole experience.

Max and his team are still making great progress, the Saxo has lost its sump guard and radiator fan courtesy of James hitting a big rock, but nice men with big hammers have got them back on the road and they are doing fine.

Here is a picture of James when I passed them in Russia, doing the walk of shame back to a policeman's hut, pulled over for nothing but did not stop fast enough and incurred an immediate demand for money in passport, I donated some miniature Jack Daniels bottles that did the trick!

I have so many stories to tell that I should write a book - I suspect that would be preferred or I will bore you to death even more than usual.

This is probably the last proper blog update, I will add some more photos and notes about some of the places I stayed but for now go find Max Chapman on Instagram or Facebook and you can enjoy an altogether more alcoholic road trip to Mongolia.

Thanks for the charity donations - Cool Earth and the Nava Kiram Orphanage are truly grateful for your support and will say prayers in thanks for you.

A slightly less fat man, minus a small motorcycle, is now wobbling off to bed!

[Unofficial update by Scarlett #3]

Saturday 09/08

Well Dad's "brief trip to A&E" turned into less of a visit and more of a... two and a half day stay in hospital. After spending Friday evening in A&E to fix his thumb, Dad called with the bad news; the hospital had made the break worse! There was talk of needing to wire the bones in place and it was decided Dad should stay the night at Pembury.

This morning came the news that Dad's phone was running out of battery and we were left with the Orthopaedic Consultant planning on taking a look at some point during the morning, and they will take it apart today (or next week) and either manipulate or wire it.

He also said that the surgical team were going to do spleen and kidney function tests and a CT scan as well.

Then ... we didn't hear from him for the rest of the day!

Around 20:00 we managed to track him down to find that he was in transit from Pembury to Maidstone Hospital, where tomorrow he will see a urologist specialist!

Mum is going to visit hm at the crack of dawn tomorrow, so when she comes back I'll hopefully have some more information for you all!

Once again, a massive thank you to all of the well-wishers and everyone who has offered us support; it has really made this whole week so much easier.

[Unofficial Update from Scarlett: #2]

Friday 08/08:

First the good news:

Dad caught the first flight out of Kazakhstan on Thursday, and after 12 hours, touched down in London. A massive thank you to Jeremy for going to pick him up!

Phil got home safe and sound, and the first thing he did was ask for a cup of tea (clearly he couldn't be too bad off)! Immediately followed by a bath and supper.

This morning he went off to the doctor's surgery and they went 'yup pop off to A&E for your thumb' and then we will start  sorting out the kidney stuff in the next few days hopefully.
Dad is incredibly tired, but after a nap, he trundled off to Pembury, where he is still (20:24) getting his thumb re-set and some blood work done. He'll be home in a few hours though!

Thank you all so much for the kind words, well-wishes and offers of support for both Dad and Mum & I. We really appreciate it and it's made things a lot less stressful knowing we have such great friends to rely on.

The end of my adventure is in sight

Wednesday 6/08

So after having reviewed all of the information that my brilliant wife has extracted from the British Consulate in Almaty, the general conclusion is that you cannot leave, destroy or sell a motorbike that has come into Kazakhstan as a temporary import. You can only pay to have it taken out to another country where the same rules apply!
Reading between the lines, you can only go home by donating the bike to charity, and even then the charity may not know you have done it.

The problem with my current situation is that there is 7000 miles of rough road between me and the Mongolian finish, and with my right thumb in plaster, this is a bit of a non-starter.

I left the mighty Sinnis registration plate over the bar in the Guns and Roses Music Bar in Atyrau.

The next problem is the marble sized kidney stone that the last fall dislodged, which is now causing internal bleeding and a significant amount of pain. Inflammation of the kidney is growing daily, so I need to get back to the marvellous NHS ASAP.

At the start of this adventure, my greatest desire was to get "out of bounds" and the people I met were more important than the destination. So all of the goals have been met; I have made the most marvellous friends from all walks of life. I have experienced huge and savage times, and revelled in my own solitude for days upon end.
I have also found loneliness, despair and pain in situations that I never wish to visit again.

In all my experiences I have found that even in the difficult abused countries kindness exists in the vast majority. I have been offered small meals, tea and companionship when no words of language joined us.

Tonight at Atyrau Airport I am saying a prayer of thanks to Angie & Scarlett for organising my escape and yet in the back of my mind I regret that I am leaving this different world to rejoin our place of comfort and safety, where small kindness is seemingly so rare.
I doubt I will push myself into the great unknown to this degree again, but I have learnt more about myself than anything else and I am definitely not the hard man that I have aspired to be.
One or two of my road companions called me 'a kind man' and that seems like a better and more worthy goal.
A massive thanks to all of the other Rally teams that have helped me!

Wish me luck tonight in clearing Kazakhstan immigration! I can't wait to see my family and friends; it seems like a lifetime has passed.

Unofficial update from Scarlett

[ Hi all,

Dad's still laid up in the Victoria Palace Hotel in Kazakhstan in a fair amount of pain. Currently Mum and I are working hard to have him medevaced back home in the next couple of days.

We pass all of your comments and well-wishes along to Dad, so on his behalf, Thank you very much for the support!

-Scarlett ]

Time to Plan (updated)

Monday (05/08)

Still in Atyrau at my hotel room; I've caught up on some sleep, but I'm still in loads of pain because of my back and hand.
Today I hope to visit a Hospital and get some x-rays on my hand and general paperwork to declare that Yes I was in a crash - that way I might be able to wave the paperwork and import tax if I dump my bike here.

Currently Plan B involves getting a train or plane if I can overcome the aforementioned paperwork issue - normally they wont let you leave if you arrived on a bike so I can't just ditch it!

Plan C is to go North with the Scamp boys and get into Russia, then take the top motorway across to Mongolia and Ulan Bator.

After I see the x-rays of my hand I can decide if it's possible. It's a long ride, maybe another 7,000 miles and two weeks.

My big adventure has become a little challenging, but I hope that with a little help from home and other teams, I'll soon be moving again.

-

So a nice girl from the hotel took me to the Hospital (more of a clinic), where they emptied my wallet before letting me see a doctor.

My right thumb is busted at the base, but the real issues is the blow I took to my left kidney. It liberated a stone I did not know I had, which is now blocking the outlet.

They wanted to operate on me today, but I declined and am now back at the hotel in plaster and with pain killers.

Hopefully my wife will come up with a plan to get me out of here quickly.

This might be the end of the Rally for me

Monday (04/08)

A lot has happened since we last touched base. Currently I'm in Atyrau Kazakhstan, at the Victoria Palace Hotel.

I had a big fall from the bike about midnight last night, but thankfully another young Rally team, The Dragon Wagon [thanks to Rob S. for finding their team name] found me in the road.
I suffered the usual lacerations to my left leg, but I think my right thumb is broken and I took a big hit to the left kidney - I am now peeing blood.
I called Hugh on the Scamp Rally team and they should be able to reach me late tonight or tomorrow morning.

Stuck in my room as I pass out if I try and stand up - this may be the end of the Rally for me; I'll see how it looks tomorrow.

"torn scrotum" is no way to introduce someone...

Sunday (03/08) morning update


Just tested the bike and it sounds awful; really like a bag of nails in a dyer, but it seems to have some power back. I still think it will probably eat an exhaust valve at some point soon.

Thankfully I've made contact with another team and I'm going to go to the border with them in a convoy (which almost might give me some options if the bike does kick it on the way).

Just two new countries and a Russian repeat then I can go home - I can't wait.

-

Found this from a few days ago:

Some random Turkish bikers bought me tea and toast on the way to the Georgia border crossing!

-

Just been with Duncan and Dave [Dad put to explain who they were, verbatim "torn scrotum", as if that explains all], who are from London. Dave is bleeding again, so after a quick inspection it was decided his stitches had been pulled. We sent him off to hospital for some maintenance.

Poor Dave...

Makes my issues look trivial!

Don't go near Chechnya (updated)

Saturday 02/08

There is a reason the Home Office advises you to stay away from Chechnya for a reason.
Last night I camped off a road and slept well. The heat is high today and the region is only two blades of grass better than a desert.
The road to the Kazakhstan border is about 700km long with nothing other than heavily armoured gas stations.

I've hit serious bike trouble; it's running red hot, so I stripped the carb and tank, but they seemed okay. My best guess is it's the engine ECU not doing any ignition advance, so unburnt fuel is simply burning in the exhaust and the engine is massively down on power and running red hot.

Nice militia men have relieved me of all of my "presents", but did bring me and the bike to Astrakhan border before racing away.
Something bad was going on back down the road at the town and the people thought I was a journalist and were very angry when they found me. I had to show them my phone and camera pictures so they could be vetted!
 

Currently I'm sitting in McDonalds's using wifi and having lunch, looking very much like a vagrant.

Max and the lads have moved on to the border with another team, but I think I may be stuck here for a couple of days.

-

Saturday Evening update -

Just had a shower in a proper hotel with soap and shampoo; a rare occurrence in these places!
After being "helped" by the police and militia today I am now down to 2 packs of Marlboro and no Jack Daniels. James (Farrington part of Max's team) also had to let go of two bottles as part of a bribe on Friday as we drove through Russia. He made the mistake of driving next to a police car and was told it was a $100 fine. With the Jack and 1000R (£18) we avoided prison, but the policeman was not happy with the result.
Earlier in the day James was also caught not stopping instantly when waved at by a police officer. More showing of passports by everyone and there was another trip to the little office to discuss money in passports, that time they wanted $100 from each of us. James put 100R in his passport (£1.50) and they had a bit of a sense of humour failure, but told us to go away.

Dogs are a real danger at the check points; the guards like Alsatians, but thankfully they are often chained up but very pissed off with the heat.
Late Friday afternoon at yet another checkpoint I was ordered to go through to a hut to a second hut to meet some very pleasant female officers for the standard interrogation, but there was also a large Alsatian loose and pacing back and forth the room.
Being a hero, I stood in the corner and waited for another "guest" to come in and then ran out fast.

Not sure what it is but it's bloody large!

I spent the afternoon in various motorcycle shops (actually they were more like breaker yards), where everyone was really nice, but had no real idea what was wrong with the bike. Usually roars of laughter were the response when I suggested getting some spares - that's not going to happen out here!
The scoreboard so far is; 2 votes for a burnt exhaust valve, 3 votes for crap petrol, 1 vote for a duff ECU that no longer does advance.
All the hot running seems to have given it an oil leak from every joint; it now leaves a puddle at each stop, but on the plus side the back wheel won't go rusty!
I changed the main fuse again, and am now suspicious that it is involved somehow and I have just emptied my 5l jerry-can of German petrol into the thank to see if that changes the behaviour.
Now the temperature is going down, I am going to go test it out and see if we are back in business - if we are not then I am going on a vodka bender in the hotel to get my sanity back.

Goodbye Hawaiian shirt

I have just cleared out some of my gear in an attempt to lighten the load for tomorrow.

-
Finale Saturday:

Serious mistake was made today; my only spare boxers were drying on the back shelf of Saxo when I asked Max to get out of Russia quickly... Now I have laundry issue with a month to go and very little clothes.
After a beer I found the answer to my bike problem; go on unti the bike blows up and hitch a ride with a car team!

Last night I was biking in Astrakhan in shorts, a t-shirt and trainers - the heat is deadly. The bike sounds horrible but its good enough to go on tomorrow, though its a good job it's not coming home; 2 weeks and it's almost destroyed!

The best part of the trip is the cleansing effect it has on your mind; struggling in fear countless times a day puts a perspective on life at home and how irrelevant most of the work issues are. I will be really happy to get home, but the Mongol Rally has already given me more than I expected.

I don't think anyone else has ever got this far by bike on the Southern route, so not too shabby.

Into Russia

Thursday 31/07

I've had issues printing off my via for Baku, so I've decided to go North from Tbilisi. Just need to hop over the mountains to Russia and follow the west coast of the Caspian sea!

At the launch party there was a team of guys in an ice-cream truck, and I cam across them by the side of a mountain pass leading to the Russian border. They'd managed to blow a head gasket and were running out of time on their visas, so they weren't too sure what they would do.

I had to leave them and press on to the border, where I saw Max and the lads. Luckily though, as I am on a bike I can jump the queue, which gained me about 2 hours! The girl at the border made me fill out my customs forms three times because their example forms are wrong - it was all very frustrating.

Now that I've passed through, I've stopped to buy insurance and wait for the lads; we;re going to carry on to Vladikavkaz tonight and find a hotel room for a decent nights sleep.

Guns and the Mafia

Wednesday - 30/07

The run to the Georgian border was good, but the temperature was up to 36 degrees, so the heat has been killing me and the bike.
I thought the border queue looked horrible, but luckily they waved me through pretty quickly.
Once in Georgia, you can see the full effects of the post-Russia involvement; huge crumbling buildings, derelict airfields and a totally polarised population - either very poor or driving big Mercs on mafia business!
The police density is incredible as every 4km you see a big American-style police car fining someone on the roadside.

About an hour after the border I was forced onto the hard shoulder by the local mafia, where they pointed a hand-gun at me and yelled in (what sounded like) German. To me it seemed like their job was to stop all visitors and invite them to their casino/brothel.
Strangely enough, when I declined the offer they wanted to escort me to a supermarket where they guaranteed a discount.
Being more than a little worried by my new friends, I donated a packed of Marlboro to them and they were very delighted; shook my hand  and saw me on my way.

All in all, this is a dangerous place and I do not want to be here on my own. I've decided to drop down to the Caspian Sea to Kazakhstan.
Baku is another 12 hour ride tomorrow so I'm going to bed soon, but I have found the Old Town Hostel in Tbilisi, which is an amazing city! Almost like Paris and completely out of character compared to the rest of Georgia.

Probably not a haunted playground...

Tuesday 29/07 - Afternoon update!

I rode hard all day and caught up to Max and the lads late afternoon at Trabzon, North Turkey. They were in convoy with another team and seemed in good spirits with no issues so far!
We hunted out of town for somewhere to camp and I found a derelict school playground which looked clean-ish and dry.

After a quick expedition meal and a can of beer from the other teams, I went to bed exhausted and fell asleep quickly. A hard decision was made; Captain Scarlett, my faithful co-pilot and navigator, has been given to the lads for safekeeping. As much as the dog is a great talking point, people constantly waving me down to take photos is hindering progress. Fingers crossed the lads will take good care of the dog!
Although the lads were pleasant, I got the feeling they would rather not have a Dad hanging round, so I will be making an early start in the morning and will find some other teams at the Georgia border.

Currently I'm filthy, hungry and not looking forward to the border crossing as I've heard stories from other Rally teams that there can be between 5 - 10 hours of paperwork to complete.
Once in Georgia I have a full on dash to Russia, as other teams are reporting an unpleasant reception in Georgia and Southern Russia - not sure why, but moving quickly through seems sensible.

The longest and hardest bike ride in the world!

Monday 28/07

Wow, so much has happened in the last 24 hours, so here we go.
As we were headed south to the Turkish border, about 35km away, we found the best road in the world (yes beating The Transfăgărășan Mountain Pass). This road weaved through a huge forested area of gentle hills, where we could see the entry and exit of nearly every bend, the surface was a good as a race-track and it was deserted when we found it at 8pm.
After about an hour of flat out fun of throwing our overloaded bikes through the curves, we finally reached the border.

Now the Turkish border was a game of queues. You start in the first one and get an entry stamp in your passport, then you go to the mandatory insurance booth and queue again while they make paying as difficult as possible. The computer did not have a Sinnis Apache on file, so about 30 minutes of shouting ensued before they decided it could be passed as a Honda CB125. I have no clue what will happen when I leave Turkey as the paperwork I have doesn't quite match the bike...
Anyway, then there was queue number 3 for computer input of my insurance, then quickly onto queue number 4 to meet the visa official who we need to be nice to as he owns the rubber gloves we all fear!
Finally we just had to ride around the side of the building to a checkpoint where they want to see all your paperwork again and add random stamps.

It was about 10pm after this whole ordeal, so we hustled off down to the nearest town and went searching for a hotel. Our luck was amazing; there in front of the main square was a hotel and better still, the bikes of Geoff and Mike!
A grateful shower later we were all in the restaurant over the road for much needed food.
The hotel was seriously bad; everything was broken - window fittings, bathroom, air conditioning and hot water - but the beds were soft and I was so tired that I instantly fell asleep.

-
Tuesday 29/07

We all got up a bit late; the luxury of our beds was marvellous. after a shower in the filthy bathroom and a  hunt for clean-ish clothes we all crossed the street to a kebab shop for breakfast (because that's what they eat for breakfast apparently!).
At about 11am we hit the road to Istanbul, but after only about an hour we were stopped under a motorway for the parting of ways.
Geoff, Mike and Lee were going on to Istanbul to apply for more visas, but sadly my schedule is too tight to lose 5 days, so I have to go on alone.

Can't wait to see you all again!

I have only known these guys for a week, but already they feel like some of my closest friends; I suppose it's because our challenge is so great and we've already seen plenty of what can go wrong.
After we took the final photo, they rode off and I burst into tears - the lowest point of the rally so far.

This afternoon and night I have been pouring on the miles in the cooler night air in an attempt to catch up with Max and the lads who have just passed Samsun about half way to the Georgian border.
After midnight I had to give up riding as I was shaking with exhaustion and I have pulled into a small town to find a nice clean cheap hotel with wifi, hence tonight's update [which came through at midnight UK time cheers Dad].

I'm looking forward to a happier day tomorrow - there can be no minor complaints on the Mongol Rally; we all knew what we were signing up for - the longest and hardest bike ride in the world!

Sandalandala and on to Bulgaria

Sunday 27/07

Living the life

Coming to you from Sandalandala, the Vama Veche campsite in Southern Romania.
All four bikes made it here with a variety of small issues; Lee lost a chain and Geoff has no electrics other than ignition!

Last night we drank beer on the beach and ate kebabs; the whole strip along the beach feels like a festival camp with ten different open air clubs belting out drum and bass all night long (they only calmed down at 9 this morning!).
The campsite was rammed so I had to pitch up under a security spot-light in the bushes!

Home sweet home

I'm starting to feel the enormous challenge ahead; to stay on track I have to get across Bulgaria and into Turkey tonight, maybe even do a full 24 hours of riding.

Mike and Geoff have left to try and find a Sunday mechanic, so Lee and I will try to meet them at the Turkey border as Geoff has friends in Istanbul where we all hope to crash.

The temperature here is killing both riders and bikes; it has already hit 30 degrees by the morning and putting on the bike gear is horrific (yesterday my boots were filling with sweat).

I hope Max and the lads are pushing on hard as time is essential; crossing Kazakhstan is the same as crossing Australia but with bad roads and poor quality fuel!

Ko Lee, Mike and Geoff!

-

Afternoon update:

Still chasing Max and the lads to Istanbul; we're in Burgas Bulgaria, which is similar to Romania but with bigger shanty-towns, more dogs and roadsides lined with women not out doing the shopping!
The head is terrible and we keep getting the nods so we have to stop off for coffee! Still, we're on track to reach Turkey before nightfall, but probably won't make Istanbul tonight which means... another night in a service station car-park. Lovely.
Starting to dream of clean clothes and a toilet that's approachable - I've taken to using the bushes when there are any as they're preferable!

The Transfăgărășan Mountain Pass

Saturday (26/07)

Yesterday all the bikes set off to ride to Constanta on the Romanaian coast. As I was still blowing fuses I stopped to buy more spares and try to find out the root cause. After an hour of sweltering heat I found a wickedly sharp P-clip that holds the wiring loom behind the headlamp that had cut through the loom, which was shorting my headlamp when I turned the handlebar to the right!
After removing the clip and replacing it with some loose tie-wraps, I deemed it as a completely reasonable repair.

Geoff and Mike had gone on ahead looking for a bike shop and unfortunately Mike had taken my USB charger which was a pain because when it came time to find them my phone was dead!
Unable to contact them, we decided to ride through the Transfăgărășan Mountain Pass as it is supposed to be one of the best roads in the world.
My verdict; it is the best road in the world, but has the worst surface which seems to be standard for Romanian roads.

The whole ride through the mountain cost us about 4 hours on top of the expected 6-7 hours to Constanta, so eventually we ran out of steam in a fairly nasty service area and decided that staying alive was better than pushing on through the night.

We were soon camped out with a couple of Rally cars beset with problems; an overheated Micra and a Polo with a failing CV joint).
Our dinner was service-station grilled chicken and salad, while we were the dinner of mosquitoes and enterprising snappy dogs.

Living The Life of Parties and Breakdowns! (updated for a final time!)

Thursday 24/07.

Started the day with a swim in the Danube; it was freezing, but so nice to have a proper wash after the heat of the last few days.

Breakfast was bread and tea, then back on the bikes for the trip to the Romanian beach party!
We have two days to get to there, which will be tough as the roads are not great and we have about 1100 kilometres to cover.
I have started using the Air Hawk whoopee cushion but my bum still hurts!

This evening finds us in Deva Romania, still riding hard to try and reach the Cotton where there is yet another party.
We had a couple of breakdowns today; Lee got a puncture after we crossed Austria into Hungary. Luckily we found a garage and got a new inner tube fitted for 10 Euros.

Ko Lee and a broken bike!

Just after crossing into Romania my bike died and as I suspected it had blown the main battery fuse. A quick replacement and we were off and running again.
Romania is a complete hole from start to finish and I hope to be proved wrong when we get to the coast!
The roads are very sporting for bikes, but have pot-holes the size of dustbins and police hiding with radar-guns every few miles. This evening I was also chased by two stray dogs which seem to be everywhere.

-



Yet again we were cursed by the bike-gremlins; Lee's headlamp failed and as she was running on just dipped beam she had to resort to just a side light while on a pitch black Romanian motorway. There was attempts to fix it, but with inadequate tools and lit with an almost flat head-torch she rode with the side-lights.

Midnight repairs

Then Geoff lost all his front lighting! What is it with these little bikes that makes the electrics so hopeless?

Finally, as we arrived in a derelict industrial estate on the edge of Sibiu (map reading in the dark = mistakes!) we were chased by a group of wild dogs trying to bite our feet as we rode by.
About 3 kilometres from our destination my electrics died again, so another gaffer tape and car fuse repair happened.

We made it to Sibiu in Romania for the Cotton Pub party... only problem was we got there at 1:30am and the had just closed the bar!
Sulking after no reward for our efforts, Geoff and Mike managed to blag floor space in someone's room at the Ibis. Seemed like every room in town was full, not helped by it now being 2:30 in the morning. Lee and I both wanted a shower as we had been living in the same clothes for days, so we splashed out 48 Euros on a room at the Continental.
Perfect - shower, clean clothes, proper beds, air conditioning and internet!

Punctuation is for people with time

(So Dad finally got in contact with me [23/04], and this is the message verbatim; "Hard day in Austria trying to get into Hungary and Budapest May have to give up and camp will send blogs when I have internet access just rushing through service station tough day with a hangover from party that went on till 4:30am" )

Wednesday 23/07

Today with Ko Lee, Mike, Geoff and two lads, a Met policeman and a Chef in a mini scamp, and I were heading off on the A-road route to Budapest, The first part was easy running through lovely Czech countryside, then we reached the flat plains of Austria and rode down past Vienna.

 

We started the morning about 10am and rode for about 9 hours before we decided to camp by the Danube, about an hour away from Budapest.
As we had our very own chefs (as Mike is also one), we bought food in a supermarket and cooked on a camp fire by the river - excellent food and cheap enough that for 6 people and including beer it was just 10 Euros in Hungary!
Sadly this place is so cheap because everywhere you look is derelict industry.

"The dreaded blue sheen of spilt diesel"

My good start from Mutterstadt was only slightly dampened by the slight drizzle, but that soon cleared up and just left me with damp roads. I headed out to the motorway and achieved my first memorable moment! A wet slip-road narrowed and I saw the dreaded blue sheen of spilt diesel. I got the bike up from the turn but was headed for the grass bank. I lost it when I hit the wet grass.
Thankfully it was the gentle embrace of the first off, but let me fairly unhappy and soggy on the grass verge. Worst still was getting a fully loaded bike back upright.

The rest of the day turned out better than expected; I bashed down motorways to visit Hockenheim and the Nurburgring circuits, unfortunately they were running car and bikes in the same session at the ring, so I thought to better to live for another day.

The party!

Late afternoon brought me to Klenová Castle in Czech and I quickly found the old military base where the party was to happen. I even found Max and the lads with the car in good order!
The party was fantastic, with an old amusement park theme, live music, ghoulish bar maids and live stage shows. Of course, the lads made good progress through all of my Krona!

Late in the day Ko Lee, Jeff and Mike showed up on their bikes. The three Irish bikes (Lock, Stock & 3 Smokin Hondas) are still in Ashford waiting for engine parts.
I spent a difficult evening drinking, partying and getting to know different teams, before I went to bed in the early hours of the morning with the drum&bass still playing (oddly enough it was the music ending at 4:30am that woke me up!).

"Today's best music while wet goes to..."

Monday - 21st (Day 2)

I woke up early and enjoyed fresh french coffee and French stick (for those like Scarlett who didn't know - like a french baguette) supplied by the Hotel. Amongst some ribbing about sleeping with a stuffed dog, I prepped the bike with chain cleaner, lubrication and a quick tightening of a couple of spokes that were not twanging at the same pitch as the rest.

I left the serious "big bikers" at the hotel and set off for Verdun with a vague idea of visiting the WW1 cemeteries. about an hour later they screamed passed me at warp speed 5, but then another hour later I found them at a service station as they were donning water-proofs; a bit of a hare and tortoise morning in the end!

Just past Verdun the rain came back with a vengeance and I was wetter than a fish waiting to be caught, in fact it was wetter inside my bike suit than outside!
Progress slowed, mainly because it was so wet and the service station had a big TV with The Great Escape playing, so I naturally had to sit it out until the bike scene was over.

Captain Scarlett: "It's wet and I left my doggy-rain-coat in England!

Late afternoon found me riding into Germany without having even seen a border. The rain was so bad that the motorway was flooding and the bike was starting to miss-fire and stutter.
Enough was enough and I gave up, took shelter in a motorway parking toilet (quality trip this) and searched on the iPhone for the nearest cheap hotel.
I managed to strike gold as only about 5 miles away was the Cafe Elizabeth in Mutterstadt, which I can assure you is closer to the Ritz than a British cafe!

Streak, frites, Weissbier and followed by lots of sleep is next on the agenda because tomorrow is a long push whatever the weather to make it to Klenová for the Czech 'all night party and rave' ...

Perfect end to a wet day

Hope the rest of the bikes are making progress, especially the Lock, Stock & 3 Smokin' Hondas team who had issues yesterday.

PS. Captain Scarlett on the back is still a great co-pilot (or at least hasn't gotten me horrifically lost yet) and continues to raise beeps and waves everywhere I go. On the motorway one driver waved for me to slow down so tat his daughter could take a photo!

Song of the Day: John Lee Hooker 'The Healer' : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0aFKgi5D6eU

So it begins!

Sunday 20th July

It's the first day of the Mongol Rally and it was a pretty full on day. After on 4 hours of sleep due to last minute running around at home, we all set off for Battersea Park at about 5:30am to join the Khanival!

Safety first!

My co-pilot dog Captain Scarlett (a late addition passenger from my daughter) got loads of attention and has continued to be a talking point everywhere I go.
The atmosphere at the launch was fantastic with about 300 cars and 7 bikes all ready to parade through London. The start was every bit as chaotic as a Mongol Rally should be; cars broke down after doing through over the ramp and the parade through London splintered into random driving by Trafalgar square and I quickly lost all of the other bikes.

The exhaust-killing ramp

Team Khan't Stop Now

Rather than waiting, I pushed on to the M20 and soon found Stephen from Lock Stock and 3 Smoking Barrels on the hard shoulder near Maidstone. Major engine surgery had already started so I only stayed long enough to offer supportive words, then carried on to the Channel Tunnel. After a short stop chatting with some proper bikers with great big BMW GS 1200's, I joined the train and was soon in France.
The ride down to Reims was about three hours, punctuated by a couple of monster thunderstorms that soaked me through.

Early evening found me outside a very basic F1 hotel, with more touring Brit bikers, and opposite was an all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet, where I attempted to eat the entire buffet, including the unlimited ice-cream and jasmine tea for 17 euros!
This has been an excellent end to a long hard day.

Missing home and my family, but my head is gloriously full of bikes, adventure and planning rather than work stress.
I tried to find Max and the boys in London, but failed, so I hope to hear from them before I go to the Czech Republic.

Thanks to all of you who have donated so generously and special thanks to Tony for your message - looking forward to seeing everyone in six weeks!

Tomorrow is Germany via the low north Alps and up to Nürburgring to try and get a lap of the famous circuit - if my co-pilot can handle the map reading!

Four days to go and starting to panic about food, money and wet wipes

Less than four days to go and yesterday my brand new panniers split when I forced a final (one too many) can of chain cleaner into them. Bugger - not much hope that they will last the trip intact especially now that I have had to sew them up with cotton thread designed to hold my trouser turn ups in place.

What's killing my luggage is the twenty days rations from Expedition foods. This stuff is a good as it gets, designed for events like the Iron Man or proper mountain climbers, it packs 800 calories into a small pack that you bring back to life by adding hot water - nice and simple. My problem is that acceptable fresh food will be easily available for the first half of my trip, but is not expected in the Siberian mountains or the middle of the Gobi desert etc,  so I have to lug this lot nearly 10,000 miles before I get to eat it.



Looking on the bright side when I find other teams marooned at a Russian border crossing that's not playing ball, I could be the next best thing to a Domino Pizza Delivery.....

Final item today weighing in at a couple of pounds was the month's supply of wet wipes, essential in Eastern Europe where the concept of toilet paper has yet to be understood!

Toady I invested in a Post Office Travel Money Card Plus - it allows you to pre-load Dollars or Euros and use them anywhere in the world without involving your bank (ie avoid fraud). If it gets lost or stolen you call a control center and they courier a new card to you complete with your remaining balance. Charges are very low and it works like a debit card/ cash machine card and can be topped up from someone at home or by using their mobile phone app - all very sensible but probably wont work in the really off track places where a few American dollars still rule.

How to turn a perfectly sensible motorcycle into an adventure motorcycle for almost nothing

So here is a Sinnis Apache



Note the luxurious seat, huge luggage store and superb weather protection.....

What was needed was a few quick changes to make life possible:

1. By an Air Hawk cushion (kind of like a large woopee cushion to help your bum survive.
2. Change the chain and sprockets to heavy duty and make the rear sprocket smaller to give better speed at less finger-numbing revs.
3. Add a charging socket to the handlebars for keeping the iphone alive.
4. Add hand guards to the handlebars to avoid hurt fingers when you fall off.
5. Add foam hand grips for comfort.
6. Completely cover the bike in soft luggage and rear racks.

The Bike Bit

So you may have noticed that every year about 300 teams set off on the Mongol Rally in cars. Not very big cars and most of the time not very nice cars, in fact something you stole from your Granny is likely to best fit the rules.

And the rules are - no engines bigger than 1000cc and the more inappropriate the better! Unless......
you want to go by motorbike. So before you start talking about big BMW's or KTM's as used by our film star friends, the rally rule for bikes is no bigger than 125cc.

Now to get this in context, my friend Jeremy has a ride-on lawn mower with a bigger engine.

Enter stage left Anthony Jackson of Sinnis Motorcycles Brighton. Anthony is a veteran of the Mongol Rally and fairly recently rode one of his own bikes to Mongolia with minimal drama. He did his best to drown himself and the bike at one river crossing, but he probably needed a good wash by
then.
 

Anthony has been gracious enough to not only inspire me to take on the Rally, but he has also cut me a cracking deal on one of his Sinnis Apache bikes plus the handful of spares that I will need.

The madness of the Mongol Rally

How it all began reprinted from the Adventurists web site.

So back in a time when the world had only just realised that the millenium bug was bullshit, Mr Tom and Mr Joolz lived in the Czech Republic. They were studying fine art, which gave them an excess of free time and an excuse to be drunk. At one of the frequent ferment-induced moments an idea arrived. They would try and drive the tiny sack of motoring shite, a Fiat 126, that they had bought recently from a con-man in northern Prague to the most stupid place they could think of. That place turned out to be Mongolia and with no preparation, no luggage and no spare clothes or even pants they set forth to reach their goal.And failed. But they had so much fun in the attempt that they swore to try again.

Mr Tom decided that this was something the rest of the world needed so the Mongol Rally was born. A website was made up and the invitation to join was sent out. In the summer of 2004 just 6 cars rolled out the back of a bar in Shoreditch, London to face the world's first Mongol Rally. 4 of them made it to the finish in Mongolia; the first of which contained a couple of bedraggled ex-art students in a completely f***** Fiat 126. Word quickly spread and the rally grew. Now, we think it's probably the biggest road rally in the world. It's undoubtedly the best.

The Mongol Rally 2014

My name is Phil Chapman and distressingly soon I'll be heading off from rainy old England on my bike all the way to Mongolia and back. In six weeks. Seems simple enough...

You can expect daily updates (unless I end up in a Russian prison) with photos, videos and maybe even  my ipod song of the day.

(Oh yes, and as I am going off into the world with little more than a motorbike and a phone [okay so maybe slightly more than just that] everything is being sent back to my dearest and most hardworking daughter who will run this blog in my stead!)