Home at Last and time for bed

So it's hard to describe how nice it is to be out of hospital today and back home with Angie and Scarlett.

Now before we go any further please understand the scale of my misdemeanours, after putting Angie through a week of stress and worry, yesterday was her birthday and I failed to get even a card! Maybe I will be in the dog house for a little longer than originally expected.

So a big thank you to all my friends and family who have called and sent messages, I feel really guilty because other than a couple of dodgy days the whole adventure had been super brilliant and I in no way deserve any sympathy from anyone. Currently I am just a bit weary, but overall I expect to be back to 100% in a week or so.

Lets really hear it for Pembury and Maidstone Hospitals, fantastic teams, beautiful people who have given me a complete overhaul, flushed out the dodgy plumbing and set me up for a super quick recovery, with luck a small adjustment to my hand and I will be back to full function - if anyone wants to rush me to a pub I have been told to flush the kidneys copiously - so all clear there.

In some respects I am a little sad over having dropped out before Mongolia, I was looking forward to seeing that amazing country and hopefully making more friends, but it is what it is and it was fantastic as far as I got. Would I do it again? yes in an instant, even to the same outcome. The people I met and the friends I made were more than worth the difficulties and I think that I have learned a lot about myself and other cultures from the whole experience.

Max and his team are still making great progress, the Saxo has lost its sump guard and radiator fan courtesy of James hitting a big rock, but nice men with big hammers have got them back on the road and they are doing fine.

Here is a picture of James when I passed them in Russia, doing the walk of shame back to a policeman's hut, pulled over for nothing but did not stop fast enough and incurred an immediate demand for money in passport, I donated some miniature Jack Daniels bottles that did the trick!

I have so many stories to tell that I should write a book - I suspect that would be preferred or I will bore you to death even more than usual.

This is probably the last proper blog update, I will add some more photos and notes about some of the places I stayed but for now go find Max Chapman on Instagram or Facebook and you can enjoy an altogether more alcoholic road trip to Mongolia.

Thanks for the charity donations - Cool Earth and the Nava Kiram Orphanage are truly grateful for your support and will say prayers in thanks for you.

A slightly less fat man, minus a small motorcycle, is now wobbling off to bed!

[Unofficial update by Scarlett #3]

Saturday 09/08

Well Dad's "brief trip to A&E" turned into less of a visit and more of a... two and a half day stay in hospital. After spending Friday evening in A&E to fix his thumb, Dad called with the bad news; the hospital had made the break worse! There was talk of needing to wire the bones in place and it was decided Dad should stay the night at Pembury.

This morning came the news that Dad's phone was running out of battery and we were left with the Orthopaedic Consultant planning on taking a look at some point during the morning, and they will take it apart today (or next week) and either manipulate or wire it.

He also said that the surgical team were going to do spleen and kidney function tests and a CT scan as well.

Then ... we didn't hear from him for the rest of the day!

Around 20:00 we managed to track him down to find that he was in transit from Pembury to Maidstone Hospital, where tomorrow he will see a urologist specialist!

Mum is going to visit hm at the crack of dawn tomorrow, so when she comes back I'll hopefully have some more information for you all!

Once again, a massive thank you to all of the well-wishers and everyone who has offered us support; it has really made this whole week so much easier.

[Unofficial Update from Scarlett: #2]

Friday 08/08:

First the good news:

Dad caught the first flight out of Kazakhstan on Thursday, and after 12 hours, touched down in London. A massive thank you to Jeremy for going to pick him up!

Phil got home safe and sound, and the first thing he did was ask for a cup of tea (clearly he couldn't be too bad off)! Immediately followed by a bath and supper.

This morning he went off to the doctor's surgery and they went 'yup pop off to A&E for your thumb' and then we will start  sorting out the kidney stuff in the next few days hopefully.
Dad is incredibly tired, but after a nap, he trundled off to Pembury, where he is still (20:24) getting his thumb re-set and some blood work done. He'll be home in a few hours though!

Thank you all so much for the kind words, well-wishes and offers of support for both Dad and Mum & I. We really appreciate it and it's made things a lot less stressful knowing we have such great friends to rely on.

The end of my adventure is in sight

Wednesday 6/08

So after having reviewed all of the information that my brilliant wife has extracted from the British Consulate in Almaty, the general conclusion is that you cannot leave, destroy or sell a motorbike that has come into Kazakhstan as a temporary import. You can only pay to have it taken out to another country where the same rules apply!
Reading between the lines, you can only go home by donating the bike to charity, and even then the charity may not know you have done it.

The problem with my current situation is that there is 7000 miles of rough road between me and the Mongolian finish, and with my right thumb in plaster, this is a bit of a non-starter.

I left the mighty Sinnis registration plate over the bar in the Guns and Roses Music Bar in Atyrau.

The next problem is the marble sized kidney stone that the last fall dislodged, which is now causing internal bleeding and a significant amount of pain. Inflammation of the kidney is growing daily, so I need to get back to the marvellous NHS ASAP.

At the start of this adventure, my greatest desire was to get "out of bounds" and the people I met were more important than the destination. So all of the goals have been met; I have made the most marvellous friends from all walks of life. I have experienced huge and savage times, and revelled in my own solitude for days upon end.
I have also found loneliness, despair and pain in situations that I never wish to visit again.

In all my experiences I have found that even in the difficult abused countries kindness exists in the vast majority. I have been offered small meals, tea and companionship when no words of language joined us.

Tonight at Atyrau Airport I am saying a prayer of thanks to Angie & Scarlett for organising my escape and yet in the back of my mind I regret that I am leaving this different world to rejoin our place of comfort and safety, where small kindness is seemingly so rare.
I doubt I will push myself into the great unknown to this degree again, but I have learnt more about myself than anything else and I am definitely not the hard man that I have aspired to be.
One or two of my road companions called me 'a kind man' and that seems like a better and more worthy goal.
A massive thanks to all of the other Rally teams that have helped me!

Wish me luck tonight in clearing Kazakhstan immigration! I can't wait to see my family and friends; it seems like a lifetime has passed.

Unofficial update from Scarlett

[ Hi all,

Dad's still laid up in the Victoria Palace Hotel in Kazakhstan in a fair amount of pain. Currently Mum and I are working hard to have him medevaced back home in the next couple of days.

We pass all of your comments and well-wishes along to Dad, so on his behalf, Thank you very much for the support!

-Scarlett ]

Time to Plan (updated)

Monday (05/08)

Still in Atyrau at my hotel room; I've caught up on some sleep, but I'm still in loads of pain because of my back and hand.
Today I hope to visit a Hospital and get some x-rays on my hand and general paperwork to declare that Yes I was in a crash - that way I might be able to wave the paperwork and import tax if I dump my bike here.

Currently Plan B involves getting a train or plane if I can overcome the aforementioned paperwork issue - normally they wont let you leave if you arrived on a bike so I can't just ditch it!

Plan C is to go North with the Scamp boys and get into Russia, then take the top motorway across to Mongolia and Ulan Bator.

After I see the x-rays of my hand I can decide if it's possible. It's a long ride, maybe another 7,000 miles and two weeks.

My big adventure has become a little challenging, but I hope that with a little help from home and other teams, I'll soon be moving again.

-

So a nice girl from the hotel took me to the Hospital (more of a clinic), where they emptied my wallet before letting me see a doctor.

My right thumb is busted at the base, but the real issues is the blow I took to my left kidney. It liberated a stone I did not know I had, which is now blocking the outlet.

They wanted to operate on me today, but I declined and am now back at the hotel in plaster and with pain killers.

Hopefully my wife will come up with a plan to get me out of here quickly.

This might be the end of the Rally for me

Monday (04/08)

A lot has happened since we last touched base. Currently I'm in Atyrau Kazakhstan, at the Victoria Palace Hotel.

I had a big fall from the bike about midnight last night, but thankfully another young Rally team, The Dragon Wagon [thanks to Rob S. for finding their team name] found me in the road.
I suffered the usual lacerations to my left leg, but I think my right thumb is broken and I took a big hit to the left kidney - I am now peeing blood.
I called Hugh on the Scamp Rally team and they should be able to reach me late tonight or tomorrow morning.

Stuck in my room as I pass out if I try and stand up - this may be the end of the Rally for me; I'll see how it looks tomorrow.

"torn scrotum" is no way to introduce someone...

Sunday (03/08) morning update


Just tested the bike and it sounds awful; really like a bag of nails in a dyer, but it seems to have some power back. I still think it will probably eat an exhaust valve at some point soon.

Thankfully I've made contact with another team and I'm going to go to the border with them in a convoy (which almost might give me some options if the bike does kick it on the way).

Just two new countries and a Russian repeat then I can go home - I can't wait.

-

Found this from a few days ago:

Some random Turkish bikers bought me tea and toast on the way to the Georgia border crossing!

-

Just been with Duncan and Dave [Dad put to explain who they were, verbatim "torn scrotum", as if that explains all], who are from London. Dave is bleeding again, so after a quick inspection it was decided his stitches had been pulled. We sent him off to hospital for some maintenance.

Poor Dave...

Makes my issues look trivial!

Don't go near Chechnya (updated)

Saturday 02/08

There is a reason the Home Office advises you to stay away from Chechnya for a reason.
Last night I camped off a road and slept well. The heat is high today and the region is only two blades of grass better than a desert.
The road to the Kazakhstan border is about 700km long with nothing other than heavily armoured gas stations.

I've hit serious bike trouble; it's running red hot, so I stripped the carb and tank, but they seemed okay. My best guess is it's the engine ECU not doing any ignition advance, so unburnt fuel is simply burning in the exhaust and the engine is massively down on power and running red hot.

Nice militia men have relieved me of all of my "presents", but did bring me and the bike to Astrakhan border before racing away.
Something bad was going on back down the road at the town and the people thought I was a journalist and were very angry when they found me. I had to show them my phone and camera pictures so they could be vetted!
 

Currently I'm sitting in McDonalds's using wifi and having lunch, looking very much like a vagrant.

Max and the lads have moved on to the border with another team, but I think I may be stuck here for a couple of days.

-

Saturday Evening update -

Just had a shower in a proper hotel with soap and shampoo; a rare occurrence in these places!
After being "helped" by the police and militia today I am now down to 2 packs of Marlboro and no Jack Daniels. James (Farrington part of Max's team) also had to let go of two bottles as part of a bribe on Friday as we drove through Russia. He made the mistake of driving next to a police car and was told it was a $100 fine. With the Jack and 1000R (£18) we avoided prison, but the policeman was not happy with the result.
Earlier in the day James was also caught not stopping instantly when waved at by a police officer. More showing of passports by everyone and there was another trip to the little office to discuss money in passports, that time they wanted $100 from each of us. James put 100R in his passport (£1.50) and they had a bit of a sense of humour failure, but told us to go away.

Dogs are a real danger at the check points; the guards like Alsatians, but thankfully they are often chained up but very pissed off with the heat.
Late Friday afternoon at yet another checkpoint I was ordered to go through to a hut to a second hut to meet some very pleasant female officers for the standard interrogation, but there was also a large Alsatian loose and pacing back and forth the room.
Being a hero, I stood in the corner and waited for another "guest" to come in and then ran out fast.

Not sure what it is but it's bloody large!

I spent the afternoon in various motorcycle shops (actually they were more like breaker yards), where everyone was really nice, but had no real idea what was wrong with the bike. Usually roars of laughter were the response when I suggested getting some spares - that's not going to happen out here!
The scoreboard so far is; 2 votes for a burnt exhaust valve, 3 votes for crap petrol, 1 vote for a duff ECU that no longer does advance.
All the hot running seems to have given it an oil leak from every joint; it now leaves a puddle at each stop, but on the plus side the back wheel won't go rusty!
I changed the main fuse again, and am now suspicious that it is involved somehow and I have just emptied my 5l jerry-can of German petrol into the thank to see if that changes the behaviour.
Now the temperature is going down, I am going to go test it out and see if we are back in business - if we are not then I am going on a vodka bender in the hotel to get my sanity back.

Goodbye Hawaiian shirt

I have just cleared out some of my gear in an attempt to lighten the load for tomorrow.

-
Finale Saturday:

Serious mistake was made today; my only spare boxers were drying on the back shelf of Saxo when I asked Max to get out of Russia quickly... Now I have laundry issue with a month to go and very little clothes.
After a beer I found the answer to my bike problem; go on unti the bike blows up and hitch a ride with a car team!

Last night I was biking in Astrakhan in shorts, a t-shirt and trainers - the heat is deadly. The bike sounds horrible but its good enough to go on tomorrow, though its a good job it's not coming home; 2 weeks and it's almost destroyed!

The best part of the trip is the cleansing effect it has on your mind; struggling in fear countless times a day puts a perspective on life at home and how irrelevant most of the work issues are. I will be really happy to get home, but the Mongol Rally has already given me more than I expected.

I don't think anyone else has ever got this far by bike on the Southern route, so not too shabby.